Two jokes to start your day

Poinker got in a joking mood this morning and would not let up on his oinks until I told a joke or two. These are clean and I don't want any comments like "aaawwwww".

Joke #1:
This horse walks into a saloon and the bartender asks, "why the long face?"  Get it? Horses have long faces anyway.
(I have to put duct tape over Poinker's mouth to keep him from oinking his laughs so loud.)


Joke#2:
There are these 3 ropes standing outside a saloon and they are thirsty and want to go in for a drink. One rope says, "I am so so thirsty, I'm going to just rope right in there and get a drink."
The second rope says to the first rope, "You can't go in there. That bartender just don't like us ropes and he said the next time we go in there, he is going to throw our rope behinds right out of there."
The first rope says, "I don't care. I'm going in."
Well, just as fast as he goes in, he gets thrown out by the bartender.
The second rope says, "I told you so."   A little time goes by and the second rope said he was thirsty and he didn't care and that the bartender is not going to tell him he can't have a drink.
So, in he goes.  It wasn't just a second or so later and out he is thrown with the bartender yelling, "I told you we don't want no stinkin' ropes in here. Stay out!"
Well, by this time, all 3 ropes are dying of thirst.  Finally, the third rope told the other two ropes that he was going in for a drink.  He tossels his rope hair, gets a mad rough=tough look on his rope face and slinks toward the saloon. The other 2 ropes tried to talk him out of it, but he didn't listen.
The first rope said, "okay, we'll see you in a few seconds when the bartender throws your rope behind out."
Off the third rope goes into the bar.  Nothing happened. The other 2 ropes looked at each other and wondered where he was.  A little more time goes by and still the third rope was in there.  Finally, after a longer while, the third rope comes ropin' on out.
"Aaaahhhh! that sure hit the spot. Sooo gooood.", he said to the other ropes.
"Hey! Now, how come that bartender didn't throw you out of there. He don't like ropes." asked the first rope.
"Well, I just roped in there and the bartender looked at me and asked me if I was a rope and I just told him "No! Frayed Knot."
Happy pigtrails to you!  Poinker gives 5 oinks for this one.  pinkpigy@aol.com
http://www.janerappleyea.stampinup.net/